Loomings- II

Recently I realized that I am trying too hard to find patterns in life- whether they exist or not (this has something to do with some free IQ test on the internet that I took a while ago and the 4 line report had said that I am a genius when it comes to patterns. Such things are good for your moral boost-up but the downside of this is that now subconsciously I feel that it’s my moral responsibility to find patterns into anything… )

It so happened that a week or so ago I had come to believe that my car radio is gone crazy. I could not make it to work. I thought it was some moisture problem and the radio is screwed and I will probably have to get a new one or get this one fixed. Now things like these are expensive in United States (I am told so) and being a desi I am not supposed to indulge into such luxuries of going to a car mechanic or get it fixed professionally.

Then once when I was in one of those Newton moments of my life while driving to work I looked at my cruelly silent car radio and thought how weird it is that the radio’s display got messed up so bad but in some kind of a pattern-istically driven world it says COdE …which so easily could be read as code!! I smiled and figured that maybe it’s some kind of a sign of my genius or just something I am supposed to understand ( ) and I went on with my work…waiting for my salary to get deposited so that I can go and get it fixed. Once, while talking to Raunak I casually mentioned this divinity of patterns in life to which he responded with a 3 secs of pure silence and then bursted out laughing. I was just going to form an opinion about his ignorant laughter like people have made of all those people who stoned Jesus to death upon announcing the message of love for centuries when he told me that it INDEED meant CODE!! Then he told me that since I had jumped my card a few days ago a radio code & serial number have to punched in to get it back to life.

Can’t Paul Shaw(guy who sits in the neighboring cubicle) for once… just not eat an apple and relieve the entire world of those annoying chomping noises???!!!!!!!

…I waited for another week in sheer silence & laziness because now it was just as trivial as obtaining the code from the dealer and I could do that anytime. It’s a whole different topic of research as to why I never considered looking at the Anti-Theft radio ID card kept in my purse all the time in order to obtain the code but I won’t go deeper into that because if I do than I believe that I will add something to what I will call a pattern that has formed in my life which people usually pronounce as stu… oh well…all is well that ends well…

Loomings – I

If I start describing my last week then I will end up spending the entire day. Naaah! Not a whole lot happened… it’s just that it will take me some time to understand what happened and why it happened. Lol…I am writing about last week as if something “did” happen…but trust me if something significant had happened I would have written about it. It’s not in my nature or capacity to hide. (at least I believe so)

Yesterday was an amazing day. I went to Barnes & Nobles and bought books. I was thinking that if I really have to do depressive shopping then why not buy books instead of going on a typical “shopping at Ross spree” and buying clothes that I am probably going to wear to some senseless Bollywood party and see all the silver screen drama in one huge gulp- girls bitching & fighting over boyfriends or acting as if they are in high-schools (or high school girls in general) getting drunk and shouting profanities; desi Jatt guys (all shaved off from head) toying in funny ways with their skinny girlfriends or a 50 year old white guy trying to do a striptease in order to seduce you while you are resting. ummm…definitely not my style.lol

Let me sign off with the books that I bought yesterday:

1). Art of fiction : Ayn Rand

2). Art of nonfiction: Ayn Rand

3). Moby Dick: Herman Meville

4). Mathematics for classical & quantum physics: to many names to be listed

5). Hunchback of Notre Damme- Victor Hugo

Of course I have to quote something from Moby Dick:

“…Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is damp, drizzling November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knowcking peoples hats off-then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball.”

Oh how I miss X-files

I miss my blog. It’s strange that I never ever believed in the fact that when people start working they don’t have enough time to be inquisitive about things around them. I have stopped being inquisitive too (at least for now) but I don’t believe that time has anything to do with it. At least there’s one thing I have realized after trying to begin a completely new phase of life and it is that “TIME” has nothing to do with things you “cannot/could not” do. You could not do those things because you “did” not do those things…

Anyways…enough rant to take the blame off time…I guess I should come back to what instigated this blog- I am so bloody missing X-files… but today is not my day to speak since I really don’t have time … today I will let Mulder and Scully speak. There’s a dialog that happens between themwhen they are stranded somewhere in the middle of a river in the episode Quagmire that I want to post:

MULDER: Why did you name your dog Queequeg?

SCULLY: It was the name of the harpoonist in Moby Dick. My father used to read to me from Moby Dick when I was a little girl, I called him Ahab and he called me Starbuck. So I named my dog Queequeg. It’s funny, I just realized something.

MULDER: It’s a bizarre name for a dog, huh?

SCULLY: No, how much you’re like Ahab. You’re so consumed by your personal vengeance against life, whether it be its inherent cruelties or mysteries, everything takes on a warped significance to fit your megalomaniacal cosmology.

MULDER: Scully, are you coming on to me?

SCULLY: It’s the truth or a white whale. What difference does it make? I mean, both obsessions are impossible to capture, and trying to do so will only leave you dead along with everyone else you bring with you. You know Mulder, you are Ahab.

MULDER: You know, its interesting you should say that, because I’ve always wanted a peg leg. It’s a boyhood thing I never grew out of. I’m not being flippant, I’ve given this a lot of thought. I mean. if you have a peg leg or hooks for hands then maybe its enough to simply keep on living. You know, braving facing life with your disability. But without these things you’re actually meant to make something of your life, achieve something earn a raise, wear a necktie. So if anything I’m actually the antithesis of Ahab, because if I did have a peg leg I’d quite possibly be more happy and more content not to be chasing after these creatures of the unknown.

Local Symmetry

Today’s breakfast: Mulder’s breakfast – sunfower seeds.

Today’s challenge: getting them from safeway.

Just joined the world that drives to work on their own. I wanted to do something crazy for my first day of complete independence and so as an ode to Mulder & Scully (who, along with Aadi & Pooja, have been a great source of inspiration in my life)- I bought a bag of sunflower seeds as a snack for work . I know it sounds extremely weird- but of what use is freedom/independence if one doesn’t develop any quirk(independent of your loved ones) that people would call weird/crazy or just peculiar?

(For those of you who had known me for a while and had hoped that my crazy ideas will go away after finding some job/work to occupy me pink brains then I am extremely sorry to disappoint them but the crazy ideas remain and will never fade .)

I have had a few self-realizations in these past 3-4 months…

I recently realized that anything asymmetric makes me restless. It could be anything- from asymmetric paintings to arrangement of books to the alignment of scotchtape along the seams of boxes etc. I am sure there’s a word in psychology for people like me…something like psycho-symmetric-syndrome or symmetriphillia and just to be safe if you are around me make sure that you follow the symmetry. (Pooja knows it better than it can ever be said.)

The second significant realization is the fact that I am really self obsessed and I believe that I am a failed experiment of God. He probably wanted to make something really cool…but he ended up making me instead. He had to stop when he realized that he couldn’t really do anymore patchwork…and yeah I guess that is what has made me incorrigible too (that’s one of those realizations that I have had for a while now). The worst part of this realization is the epiphany that when he finished making he probably went on to concoct a couple of MIT grads which is why I am the only one who wonders all the time about why I am not there (in MIT that is).

Last but not the least, I like the concept of being in third person. In fact, I was always so sure that I am not the only one who likes to be in third person that I have already concocted a criminal profile on such people . These people are short; believe that they have more potential than they will ever show; are shy and want to gel into the background just for it gives them kicks somewhere in their brain. Let me just add that these people are good observants and things(especially people’s idiosyncracies and their funny ways of talking or doing things) rarely go unnoticed by them (Aadi is one example of such people-who-live-in-third-person ).

Before signing it off I want to make a note on orkut profile albums. No offense to orkut profilers…but it is funny how some people actually put pictures and religiously update their online albums on Orkut!! AS IF someone is really interested in knowig how “cool” they look standing in front of a shiney car in an autoexpo or with their pathetic “gang”!! ugh!